S has been excluded

I had a phone call from Mrs S this afternoon asking me to come into school to pick S up as was being excluded. Apparently S had hit his teacher and had fled the school, they didn't know where he was.

I turned up bought him into school where i was told that he had pushed his class teacher and this was unacceptable, they had never experienced violence before and even though i had told them about the problems we have had she said that it was overspilling from home and we need to deal with it

I told her we are not wholly responsible and she was not going to lay the entire blame on my doorstep. He does need to be punished but they did not handle it very well and when told he was being excluded bolted for the nearest door. When i got him outside we spent the next 20mins trying to get him into the car.

The other problem that tomorrow is his school trip, so of course he is devastated and again he became hysterical. This means that when he returns to school on friday all of yr3 will be talking about the trip and he will feel ostracised and will probably bolt. I know he has to be punished, consequences of actions and all that but surely there could have been a better way, like trying to figure out what triggered him in the first place. From what he told me he was doing PE and the teacher showed them a sequence then asked for a volunteer, S obliged then realised he couldn't do it and panicked, pushing his teacher because he felt sick.

We are seriously thinking about leaving him home for the rest of the week and starting afresh next week, but i'll probably get a black mark

My immediate reaction was "sod 'em, then"....

I realise that aint helpful tho!

Did S hit his teacher or push his teacher? Either way, it's unacceptable BUT it isn't YOUR fault. It ISN'T an "overspill" from home. It's because S has an ASD!!

They've NEVER experienced violence before? Don't believe them. It's a school for heavens sake, not bloody Stepford!

It seems to me that they are trying to treat S as if he didn't have any problems, and are making him worse as we all know that the usual methods of punishment don't usually work for our kids. (I am currently going through this with C's school, so it might just be me focussing on it and applying to you too!)

The fact that he fled and they couldn't find him is completely out of order Why on earth can't these people understand that our children NEED HELP and running is a cry for help and reassurance (well, that's how C uses it) and then telling him he's excluded is nothing short of criminal. I'm so bloody angry I could say something really rude ! WHY couldn't they find him? Why did it get to a situation where they had to go looking? Do they let all their upset children "get on with it"?

Stuff the black mark. Keep him off. He'll be yo-yo-ing between school and home and get really confused. Can you do something special with him on the day of the trip? So that at least he has a good thing to think about when school is rubbing his nose in it that he didn't get to go with his classmates?

Big hugs to you and S....

Sorry, let me clarify the school have not experienced violence from S before and he apparently pushed his teacher, this is still bad but not as bad as hitting. The problem i have is that this is his 1st time and i feel that punishing him by stopping him from going on a school trip is too harsh and they maybe could have come up with another solution first, possibly try and find out why he did it.

Surely the school have had special needs kids in their school before tho with difficult/challenging behaviour?

I dont think they have dealt with this matter inappropriately and it would be wise to check out whether there could be some disability discrimination going on here but im no expert its just a thought, it may get them thinking and maybe move their a***s in the right direction and quickly for the help S needs now!

The punishment does not fit the crime.
He pushed a teacher and was excluded? Now, I know it's wrong, but what would they have done if he'd HIT the teacher? Expelled him? Are they trying to get rid of him?
They have completely mishandled and over-reacted to the whole thing.

I completely agree with you. I have decided to speak to the school and to get hold of their behaviour policy. I would also like to get a hold of their policy on exclusion as i believe this punishment was too extreme for a 1st 'violent' offence, as it turns out there was no maliciousness on his part as he was embarassed and wanted to leave.

Why didn't they listen to me when i told them what he was like at home? Did they think i was making it up? I will not accept that this overspill is down to me.

I spoke to his class teacher and she has told me her version of what happens and it does vary on S's version.
Apparently, S was climbing on the wall apparatus and as there was another person teaching PE she decided to deal with S. She asked him to come down but he refused and persisted in climbing up further, she said she was afraid for his safety as he had a tennis racquet with him (they were supposed to be doing tennis not gym) and didn't want him to get stuck or fall. He did come down and proceeded to put his socks and shoes on and she knew he was going to bolt, he ran down the corridor, she chased after him then he seemed to slow down and she thought she had won him round, she then caught up with him to talk to him but he turned around, she was in his way as he tried to bolt so he pushed her, she admitted that it didn't hurt she was just surprised, then he bolted off site. It was at this point that i was called. I then found out from her that he 'assaulted' (pushed) another male teacher (the same male teacher that taught my daughter for 2 years), this information was not given to me as they had only just found out about it.

The most interesting point out of all this is that, when talking to my partner and discovering the generic letter which were sent, according to them they didn't take this matter lightly but, from the time the chidren came in from lunch at 1, had registration, got changed, this incident to occuring, him running off site and them calling me took approx. 40 minutes. Tell me how long did they take to reach this decision, not very long!

I have tried to make an appointment with Mrs S but she is ill andhave also proceeded to write to the Clerk of the Governors. I handed the letter in at school who informed me that it needed to be posted as she no longer has children in the school, i asked where i should send the letter to and she said she would send it but it wouldn't get there before the weekend. This receptionist has a real attitude problem and gave me a really frosty 'reception' when i went in on Wednesday and this morning.

Can you trust her to send it?

i was thinking the same thing!

Make sure the letter was sent and get confirmation off the receptionist that it was (she just needs to do a receipt for ya for this letter).