Transitions!!!!

I am on the verge of losing it!!! We went to my dads today and T stayed with dad while i went to see my solicitor, well T was on it from the minute he woke up (going places always sends him crazy long before the event). So we got a taxi there and when we got there i said to T as i was walking in to dads house (let myself in) to go find Grandad and say hello, trying to encourage appropriate greetings (T struggles with this) he started to drop to the floor laughing and hiding behind me as i went to greet my dad.

He refused to say hello and was hiding all the time, he hurt himself several times while trying to stop being seen by my dad and did he care? nope not my T. Within 5 mins of being there dad had shouted at him (T was VERY hyper & silly) and when i came back from my appointment T was sat on grandads lap watching the box together, bless em!

So after my appointment we stayed at dads until my bro came, T was covering his ears a lot, spinning himself and laying down laughing about the world moving, i could see he was enjoying it and was stimulating himself to be 'happier' he was loving it and a sensory room is a must for T, one day eh!

T started to get very silly when it was coming to leaving dads, like he does (i really detest transitions!) and he threw his trainers at me and was throwing himelf about all over the place, moving from one room to another. I just knew it was gonna be bad going home.

Taxi came and had to wait 10 mins just so we could get out of the house! T was running away and hiding and refusing to put hios shoes on and laughing his head off during it all, also using bad language. So we get him in the taxi, told driver to lock the doors and tell him he has to by law put his seatbelt on, the taxi man did and in the end after lots of the usual resistance he did. Nothing is ever easy!! he was kicking the seat, shouting and doing all the usual.

When we got 2 my end the drama was about to heat up! well he started to try to get out of the car and if he did he would of hit another parked car, so i had to restrain him while trying to get a firm grip to get him out of the car. Well i had my door open to get him out my side (only side we could get out of) and i have a long queue of traffic waiting for me to stop battling with T to get out of the car! (our street is a one way street) in the end i had to get back in and let the traffic go, i hate all this hard work doing transitions it wears me down!

I managed to get him out of the car and then he starts to strip off his top half off while dropping to the floor, i had to restrain him to stop him cracking his head open on the concrete path. He was a crazy child if i am honest and i really did struggle to get him in the house.

And now he has been self harming and really violent with me, i cant take it, he keeps screaming that he is scared and screaming at me constantly, my head hurts I dont know how much more i can take before i flip, surely i cant survivie all this!

Huge huge hugs one way to make thinga easier for him could be visual cues. Dd was a nightmare before I introduced a visual timetable, now we plan the day out in pictures on her timetable which she then posts in a finish book when the task is done. eg breakfast (post symbol) shoes on (post symbol) trip to park (post symbol) taxi (post symbol) etc etc, it sets out cleartly what I expect and makes it easier for her to understand. I started it before she had any speech and alot less understanding but I use it even now, even though she knows what I mean when I say bath time now, she still needs her timetable and visual cue to be able to do it, plus she can see in advance what is going to happen throughout the day. It takes a while for them to learn how to use it but once they get the idea Ive found it a godsend, I use it for dressing aswell. Give me a yell if you need more info hun

Ugh....I know EXACTLY how you feel Bambi, sometimes I just can't do anything with C and I end up getting hurt too!

I am thinking about the visual thing myself as sometimes we must go do stuff she's never done before (we have a visit to the dentist looming and she's panicking already).

Yep visual pointers are the key, T has a timetable on his bedroom wall with the velcro that he takes off and puts in an envelope when its a task completed, and its clearly marked schoolday timetable. It does help and i can see it works and he has one for his dads weekend access now and his dad said it definately helped.

The thing with outings are that T doesnt want to leave the setting he is in and his avoidance becomes rife! No matter what he still doesnt cope with leaving places most of the time, its making me think maybe i should appeal the low rate mobility. I refuse to do buses especially if we have to get 3 to our destination coz he doesnt cope with the changes at all. I am finding him dropping to the floor a lot more these days and it can be within the home or on the street outside, it makes no difference where he is.

I guess i just have to grin and bare it, it worries me tho that the bigger he gets the harder it is becoming to manage him on my own I worry about being alone in the house with T, what if he was to knock me unconcious? i have started to leave the key in my door now so at least he can get out of the house for help if anything happened. I hate thinking like this but i have to really because i am a lone parent and his behaviours have me living like this whether i like it or not, its the reality of our situation.

I have a small timetable with velcro which I take out with us, maps out the day eg train-Eureka-lunch-train-home dd can then see the day mapped out before we set off and knows whats expected while we are out. Does T know how to tell the time? Maybe put clock symbols next to each symbol eg train 9.30am so he knows when its going to happen and can prepare himself for the changes

The thing is, the train could always be late... or some unforeseen circumstance could happen. And then, slowly but surely, it would all go out the window. Such is life.

We have to drive everywhere. C can't get on a bus and the trains are too loud for her. Not to mention the fact that bus stops are always by the side of the road (obviously) and railway stations are so dangerous when you have a panic stricken 5 year old who runs at the drop of a hat....

Big hugs for all our kids. Bless them. xx