The next steps...

Riiight, I let things lie for a while, partly because I was getting so stressed out and know it won't do the baby any good and partly because I wanted to see if things would happen as they were meant to, but all has been extremely quiet, so this afternoon I made a list of names and numbers to call

Rung A's HV, she's in baby clinic so a message was left for her to call me back later on... I will ask if she recieved a letter or anything from my midwife as she told me that she would contact HV over my concerns with the pregnancy etc so hopefully I will have a good chinwag with her when she rings.

I tried A's paed but she wasn't there, neither was her secratary, so I will have to keep trying that one

Lost the no for the behaviour advisor, so had to ring sure start for that, got it, asked for the woman I needed and they put me through to someone with the same first name but completely different surname, there was me trying to explain who I was etc and this woman didn't have a clue what I was on about, then she twigged it was the other woman I was meant to have been put through to, so I felt a right wally!! Anyway, she's not there, out on jury duty so won't be back until next week so I will call back then

Rung Parent Partnership, no problems with these lot! The woman who has attended meetings etc with me in the past wasn't there, but will dig out all my previous notes and go through them and ring me back on Tursday. In the meantime, the lady I spoke to listened to what I had to say, wants to find out why SEN support said they'd get BEST involved for home support for me, then had a go and told me I had no right when I rung them myself after waiting and nothing happening, there's a few other things she questioned too that they want to get to the bottom of She asked if I had had a Social Services assessment, I haven't so they're going to look into that for me, I told her I would die if anyone visited me right now because I'm really not managing with anything and the place is a tip, she said she didn't want to sound awful but this is what they need to see to realise I do need the help She also informed me that there's a forum on at the town hall this Thursday which is all about behaviour, so she told me to try and make it to that as it could be beneficial The woman from BEST who I was going to ring will be there, so I will speak to her rather than phone, I think Also, the EP who we saw at the last forum mentioned another EP he recommended I get a 2nd opinion from but I forgot the name, the lady from PP will see him tomorrow so is going to ask him so I have that name on Thu too so hopefully that EP may see more than the last one wanted to see

I was going to ring the school nurse but thought I would leave it for tomorow now as I want to speak to HV and paed first to see what they have to say, then I will ask her if she's been in recently and seen anything of A

Not sure what will happen after all these calls, but surely it's another step forward as I will have reminded them of things that still need doing and they may just (hopefully) get things moving a little faster now One thing's for sure, I can't keep going on like this and I certainly don't need the stress!

I am hoping for a positive outcome from this and I'm hoping school will keep being contacted until they give in and admit what's been going on instead of denying it all the time!

Bless u hun and i too remember a VERY long list of numbers i had of people to bug! Its like ur neurotic in the end, when really all we are is fed up with having to keep chasing people when they have not done their job in the first place.

Do keep us informed of any updates and well done you for keeping up the fight, not easy also with being pregnant but it goes to show what a loving and devoted mum u are

Thanks Bambi, I know what you mean, they must think i am a loony ringing and going on constanty when *some* are convinced it's all in my head If that was the case, how some my family and OH and his family and our frineds see how he is, plus the girls are scared of him, that must be in my head too!!

I get fed up sometimes and angry, thinking that I shouldn't have to be making all these phone calls etc and I hate bugging people but we have to or nothing happens

It's like I have a bee in my bonnet once I get started and I won't let it drop and I get really stressed out, which I need to not do now really Thank goodness the forum is here LOL

Woohoo!! Another Cyber Granddaughter on the way!!! (please note DonnaK the word is Granddaughter NOT Grandson!!) lol!! Only girls please!!! Boys are far too strange!! Seriously though you two 'mums to be' need to not get soooo stressed out!! Relax!! Please!! Stress not good for my Grandchildren!! Take care of yourselves. xx

I hope things get sorted out soon hun xxx

LOL Grandma Would be nice to have another girl, A had out me off boys LOL Plus boys fart too much *has a sneaky look in OH's direction*

Thank you both

PMSL@boys fart too much, VERY true wiv both my boys

And they don't get much better as they get older either, foul creatures in many ways, men LOL

I'll have to disagree with boys fart too much, you don't know my 2 nieces then as they pride themselves of makeing the foulest smell that you could use it as a weapon in war. pmsl plus they have a habit of waiting till your in the car so you can't escape it, by the way they are 12 & 16, old enough to know better!

LOL kebab, I can imagine my house being a bit like that in a good few years if they start to follow in my OH's footsteps!

OK, back on topic LOL

I have had quite an in depth conversation with parent partnership and they have rung A's paed and spoke to the secratary, according to her, her notes say nothing about a questionnaire being sent out, but they're going to get them sent out first thing, how the notes can differ from a letter I have right in front of me I do not know! Anyway, I will be seeing PP tonight at the town hall where there's a forum on tonight about behaviour so she can see this letter for herself

She also explained about me being pregnant and the extra strain all A does is putting on me and the danger he poses. I did tell the paed when I saw her but she didn't seem too bothered then, hopefully she will be now.

She is going to find out more abaout the social services assessment for me and get the ball rolling, or at least try anyway.

She rung the EP too, the one who saw A who was pointless is off on maternity leave now, so has someone else in her place,but it's someone she knows pretty well so will be able to have a good conversation with her about things as they are. I hadn't realised how much time had elapsed, but the last meeting was in FEBRUARY!!! In that meeting, from the notes PP have from there, The EP and thr SEN support BOTH agreed to get BEST involved for home support for me, yet nothing at all has been done by the school or the EP, also, the EP was meant to have referred to CAMHS too!! If she did that would make a total of 4 referrals, but I have a feeling that went by the wayside too

She is also going to get in touch with the GP who I saw when I was at the end of my teather with him and she stated that in her opinion that he had both ADHD and AS which is why she made a referral to CAMHS, I don't quite know what information she can get from the GP, but I hope what she told us was written in A's notes as her reason for referral so I have some back up and proof of how he is, as she was one professional who saw him for himself! I don't know how much attention paed's etc pay to GP's opinions, but hopefully with her experience (she has a fair bit with ADS's) they will listen to her:)

On top of that I have had a health visitor ring me and arrange a meeting with me for next Tuesday to have a talk about what's been happening and ways she may be able to helo and referrals she could make for us etc, so at least something's happening now

Im so pleased for u Donna that things are moving again! lets hope they stay moving and not end up by the wayside again!

Whenever u have a pro in ur company dont hold back on telling them EXACTLY how it is (i know u will tho so no worries ).

They need to pull thier fingers out from wherever they stick em and get the ball well and truly rolling, u have had enough let downs as it is and now u are pregnant and in desperate need, oh i get so angry when i see our life struggles are not isolated!

Ur HV sounds the one to channel the help thru, so discuss it all with her and have all ur concerns and worries noted to discuss with her (if poss give her a copies, i was wisely advised a paper trail is the key!).

I love it when things get going for us and too right they bloody should!

Good luck hun

Thanks

I will keep up with this, I just don't always feel up to the fight, you know what it's like...

One thing I forgot to mention though was the SALT (or lack of)

He was referred quite a time ago for SALT and I recieved a letter asking if I wanted to go ahead as sometimes referrals are made and the parents don't attend, so I had to fill a form in and send it off with in a tim limit, since then I have heard nothng, will be mentioning it to paed I think as he does need it

Dont get me started on the SALT! T is meant to have the ASD specialists involved like it is clearly stated in his report along with the ASD specialist SALT being sent a copy of his report and i have been told he wont have her input and not even by the person concerned but through my PP lady, ignorance is rife and i cant fight that.

Not one person who was sent a copy of the report has contacted me, it states T needs behaviour management along with help for me, i have been told by the psychiatrist that i need to be realistic that i wont be able to access the services we need, How does one deal with that? go away and rot they are hoping but im not and they dont like that.

I was also told that CAHMS (even they were sent a copy of report with clearly stating they hope we can work together) were not going to contact me regarding the help T needs, but they are very keen to hold a meeting behind my back disputing Nottinghams findings and sying they dont agree, the whole lot of it f***ing stinks!

I will go all the way with them and in the end they will be named and shamed, i have never wanted things to come to this (no-one in thier right mind would!) but as my solicitor says, i have had enough kicks and it has to stop.

Good luck DonnaK. Don't hold your breath!! Are you dizzy yet from all that spinning??!! xx

I am but Andrew isn't LOL, he loves spinning