Aw.....you poor thing. Please don't get yourself upset!
I can only say what I have read and my own personal experiences.
Right then.....first of all, the current line of thinking is that there is NO link to Autism via the MMR.
Feel better? No, I didn't think so!
It seems to be acknowledged that a lot of the children later diagnosed with Autism begin to show symptoms at around the same time as the MMR is administered. Coincidence? I don't know. I know that some seemingly healthy children were in a matter of a few days showing all the signs of quite low-functioning autism. I find it hard to comprehend that a child functioning at 100% on Monday can be functioning at 30% by Wednesday. To me it seems highly implausible, but I am no expert.
When C was 'called up' for her MMR I went through absolute torment trying to decide what to do for my perfect little angel. I had NO experience and NO understanding of Autism and I confess that my ignorance was boundless! I thought Autism was a child who was either a genius in one particular aspect (playing the piano or maths or something!) or little more than a drooling idiot. My God! How much I have learnt and how far I have travelled since her dx in November 2006. I feel awful now about my preconceived and naive concept of Autism.
Did I give her the MMR?
No. I wasn't prepared to inflict Autism on my daughter.
How ironic is that? She already WAS Autistic.
I wasn't prepared to not vaccinate at all, and I paid privately to have her vaccinated. She received each vaccine seperately, which meant a lot more holes in her arms and legs, but she wasn't going to develop Autism!
Quite a while ago I came to the conclusion that you, Misty, have more 'balls' than I do. There is NO WAY that I would contemplate another child (after C's dx), although I would have loved one. I simply couldn't do it. I take my hat off to you, I really do.
If I WAS in your situation, PERSONALLY I wouldn't have the MMR. I would then know, without any doubt, that I hadn't taken my baby and changed his world. I would vaccinate seperately. With no hesitation. I paid an absolute fortune (Up to £150 per jab. Still paying it back) but it bought peace of mind, and that is priceless.