Mixed messages from School

S came home on Friday distraught, i asked him what was wrong and he said that his teacher had said that because he had forgotten his homework, 'It wasn't good enough' and that 'he would have time taken off his play time as punishment'. What she failed to realise was that i had had the mother of all migraines that lasted from Wed night till Thurs evening and although he had done his homework as i was still groggy Fri morning and mornings are always a nightmare as i have 2 kids to get to 2 different schools taht we genuinely forgot so i wrote a note asking her not to punish S and the reasons why.

My beef with the school is that when i spoke to the head recently and explained the homework situation she said that they weren't going to push too hard as long as we try with him and i explain the situation to the teacher

He also came home last night and said the LSA has told him he has to read every night, i wuldn't mind but i have already explained to his teacher that the only nights i can do anything with S is Thursday/Friday or the Weekend as S has Behaviour group on Monday, i have College Mondays and Wednesdays and S has Cubs on a Tuesday. According to his LSA he has to do it before Cubs which damn near impossible as he is shattered when he gets home and it's hard enough to get him to do homework anyway. When i spoke to his teacher about this she agreed that we could meet on a Thurs after school and she would give me his homework and any info on work he had missed for him to hand in on Fridays. Unfortunately, this has not happened as she omitted to tell me, even though i collect him everyday from class that she was on a course for the last 2 weeks

So is it me, am i not getting the message right about homework. I spoke to my aunt, a special needs teacher, and she doesn't get why there is so much emphasis on homework when they are so young. Kids struggle putting in 6 hours a day at school without the stress of homework, it's even harder when that child has something like Autism/PDA etc.

If there defence is that it prepares them for Secondary School then they are quite wrong because the amount of homework my daughter got in Yr 6 is nothing to the amount they give them in Yr 7.


Rant Over.

Wow what a carry on! well i would asap arrange for a meeting to be set up, so u ALL get the same picture and S stops getting punished for things that should not be happening in the first place!

T used to get sent out of class to work on his own or miss playtimes as he wouldnt finish work during class time (daydreaming, too busy talking and being unsure about the task he was set). I had to find this out from T and other parents who's children had told their parents what goes on with T in school, they had no interest to tell me but to make out to professionals involved in Ts life that 'he is fine in school'

The school system (mainstream) as it stands is damaging our kids and to have kids as young as 5,6 & 7 suffering with severe anxiety & depression is heartbreaking. ALL staff within mainstream need training to cope with our kids and to have understanding about their needs, no matter how subtle their problems are.

A person who doesnt have a clue wouldnt know how distressed our kids can be over something that doesnt seem obvious to them.

Good luck!

First up.....big to a fellow migraine sufferer...
Secondly......this is just daft!
WHY are they punishing a child for this?
Why are they not communicating with you?
Get thee to the school and talk at them until they listen! Bambi is absolutely right (as usual!), y'all need to get together and get them to put in writing what they intend to do to help your son.
Oooh, this is so annoying. Why are our kids treated this way?

Funding, ignorance and zero understanding, i think that sums it up!

Im so upset you are being treated this way. I dont know if your son is the same but in dds eyes school is for school work and home life is separate, she sometimes sets herself some sums but its on her own terms and I dont push it she gets enough at school. When she was in mainstream she got a reading book every night which caused more stress than it was worth and ended up being thrown in a rage (keeping in mind this was a child with very little vocab at the time) Now she gets no homework at all, does all her work in school and is progressing far better because of it and she loves to learn. Could you discuss the possibility of no homework or less or would this not be suitable for them? To be honest I dont think homework is fair to our children they especially need their winding down time and own space at the end of a busy school day.

Absolutely, we seemed to be having all the rage at home until yesterday when he decided to walk out of class and forfeited his special box, thenis did not go down well and i ended up getting a phone call telling me S had walked off site and down to the road.

It was explained to me that for the last 10 days the school had decided that S was to have a 'special' box which was his and his alone with a small treat in it everyday if he managed to stay in class from 8.40 till 10.30. We don't know what triggered it off, all S would say is he didn't want to do the work, it was too hard.

He was sent home with homework last night, and so as we waited for my daughter we attempted to do it. He was really good with the literacy but has no idea about money and how for example if you had £1 and spent 45p how much would you be left with. I tried 3 times last night and he just hadn't a clue.

I am going to try and speak to his class teacher after school today, if she's there.

what are they doing letting a child wander off site? This school needs a good talking to and training in ASDs. It sounds to me like they have the reward system all wrong, dd is rewarded for each thing she does eg gets a token or reward for hanging up her coat, another for doing a few sums, then over the course of a couple of hours when she has 4 tokens she gets to choose a reward eg computer time or some colouring something which motivates her enough to do the tasks required. But a token is never taken away as a punishment for not doing the next task once she has earned a token it is hers. Does he have someone sat with him to explain how to do the work? He is probably not understanding when the teacher explaines it to a big group and needs someone to expalin it to him in a way he can understand and walk him through how to actually do the work, in the long run this would make their lives easier as S would be calmer.

Good luck when you talk to the teacher, really lay down the law with her apart from the issues of whats happening with homework there is a major safety issue here aswell

I can't say any thing that hasn't already been said, but I just wanted you to know that I'm really annoyed on your behalf!

Charlotte also has the chance to 'earn' stuff at school. She has never lost a reward she has earned.

I hope that the school will listen to you, this cannot carry on.

I spoke to S's teacher and she hadn't been told S had left the building as she was not in class that day.
She did apologise about being on a course and not telling me and also said she didn't tell S that he would have time taken off his break for not handing his homework in on time. She said that because the homework was also part of a competition some children thought it was optional and didn't do it. It was emphasised that S had to do homework as it was required by Law, but maybe if there were problems he could do it over the weekend.

I don't feel completely satisfied but i also feel that the head doesn't really care anymore as she is leaving soon.

Awww hun i know u cant be satisfied with that but how is all this helping S? He needs more support and individual attention in school and this needs to be addressed urgently!!!

Im getting so angry for u now hun and i really do know exactly what u are dealing with, this is so wrong and how dare Lord Adonis say what he has said!!!!

They wont care like they damn well should do! they dont see the damage they are doing by ignoring his special needs and his INDIVIDUAL needs at that!!!

Did u request a meeting? This needs to be done asap and it needs to be noted (do minutes) then u give them a copy of the minutes. Howsw the statementing going? sorry if u have already said but are they going to assess S for SEN?

I hope u get this sorted and please keep us posted, chin up hun were all here if u need to rant, so rant away if needs be!